Chronicles Of Killadev - TFA

While reaffirming that the supernatural, almost celestial love affair, that I share with Trinidad was in good shape, I realised that I was ignoring my scribal duties. On that note I have to say welcome back to the inner recesses of the tormented maze that is the mind of the Killadev. However, the upside to this was that I was able to acquire enough perspective changing experiences to share.

One such altered perspective is the view that partying is boring and played out, myopic and even redundant. Now I sometimes used to hold this view but was I wrong. I say this is because to me there is an individualistic sort of mindset the way you approach social gatherings. I am of the belief that when people go to a party to do anything other than have fun have they begun the whole experience taking a backward step. I myself was a victim of this, BUT, I have seen the error of my ways and as a result have found myself enjoying even the most sparsely populated of dance floors, shin-digs and even church limes lol.

Now to emphasize my new found and rejuvenated enthusiasm I am going to chronologically chronicle, as is the namesake of this blog, the events of one faithful night that coincided with the CAUTION offering from Island People.

11:45 pm – Pick up bottle of Hennessey

11:46 pm – Shotting Hennessey in car for no good reason

11:55 pm – realising that multiple shotting of said Henessey was not a good idea and stop for Redbull

12:05 pm – Spill most of Redbull in car due to hole in the road so drink is still like a shot

12:30 pm – asking where the hell is the party because after all those shots directions seem to be getting alot more confusing

12:45 pm - Park car and decide to finish the bottle of Hennessey with one of my boys

1:00 am – Stagger into party with friends and girls alike

1:15 am – wine on every girl I see lol

1:20 am – hit the bar and make a truly vile, chemically unsound concoction

2:30 am – feeling too hot to function

2:31 am – unveiling of my body to strangers lol ---in other words the shirt had to go

2:32 am – 5:30 am – wining, flirting, drinking all bareback, and generally not giving a EFF

5:35ish am – leaving dance with friends and several strange girls ( never a bad idea)

-the suffix ‘ish’ shows that time was not a factor.

5:45ish am – detained by officers for obscene language and being to cool lol---- honestly just for the first one.

6:00ish am- laughing and cracking jokes with the ‘arresting’ officers, who happen to be the coolest officers on planet earth ---kudos to them

6:25ish am – eating doubles somewhere in Trinidad

6:27ish am – passing out in car lolol

Now after religiously attending this same annual event in years previous, and now approaching it with my TOTAL FUN APPROACH or TFA, the saying chalk and cheese instantly comes to mind. I think I am going to employ this approach alot more to see what happens.

PS. ---What is the deal with all this goat sex going on all over the world like I miss the memo that says it ok to lay with a goat that bestiality was cool...... LOLOLOL WOW ..........I am appalled, for shame

Killadev

The Chronicles Of Killadev

So first off let me officially apologise for my personal leave of absence hopefully this phenomena I have stumbled upon would fill the gaping gorge of a gap left. Anyway, lets not twiddle or thumbs anymore and jump out the preverbial window.

As I mentioned before I am hiding away from real life in Miami, and for good reason the prospect of the routine and redundancy of a mind numbing, spirit killing job is not something anyone would rush to do but guess what I need the money. Thats beside the point, while here in the sunshine state there is one thing I do not understand and I am totally perplexed and befuddled and I am forced to come of my own, probably warped and subjective, conclusion. I speak of STRIPPERS!! .... now these are not the strung out, as I would simply put crash bad things you see in 'Copa' and its counterparts. NO. These are the girls every pre pubescent male have had one or three wet dreams about at least twice a week until they were 14. these woman are effing hottt, now with that said this is where I find myself lost and confused and when I am frequenting the strip club i find myself not joining the festivities but just trying to understand. Now soul searching in a strip club is not the best idea however so great is my confusion.

The reason, I find myself in mental rigor mortis and trapped in my thoughts, is because I honestly believe that these girls could have been anything else in the world rather than this degrading profession they have chosen. These girls are honestly some of the most beautiful entities I have had the pleasure of laying my eyes on and they are treating themselves like nothing more than a side of beef.( and i say this because in one of the strip clubs I went to evey hour the girls are alerted by a bell and hold hands and walk in front the patrons one after the other like a virtual meat market). So the question I pose is why do that, why take off your clothes for strange men to fondle your lady humps for dollar bills, why give totally nude lap dances where I the patron am allowed to do anything I want for the length of a song, and if I pay more I may get as it was refferred to a happy ending. I would like to know what unofrtunate event made these flawless, embodiments of physical femininity choose this 'job'.I am totally confused....

I am goin to try and attempt to answer these questions being as real as i possibly could. Now I know not everyone has had the same opportunities in life and what not and that is good and well but to me there are things everyone could do to overcome these. I am not going to harp on that any longer, I want to know what gave these girls such a distorted view of sex and sexual relations that they trivialised it into a dollar by dollar experience. This trivialisation and marginalisation of sex and its associated functions as a means to an end baffles me like few things have before( one of these things I admit is girls which I no longer try to understand but rather survive).

I have hence come up with a list of reasons that i am putting forward to answer my own questions:-\

1. Some of them were sexually molested at a tender age and like most porn stars have warped views on sex
2. Negative self image leading to low self esteem
3. Some were probably not given attention as a child and hunger for that attention that alluded them and seek this attention on stage and the cheering crowd.
4. Lack of opportunity coupled with financial issues( this I think is a weak reason because tey are a million things someone could do besides taking off their clothes but Ill offer it up anyway)
5. Materialism, fast cash and music videos( well media influence on impressionable youths)
6. Any and all combinations of the affore mentioned

Now attempting to answer your own questions only give you answers from your own perspective formed by your subjective experiences, this I know so to truly hear the other side and to understand this situation in its entirety I think I must interview a stripper. I think that is the only way this chronicle would be made whole and equilibrium brought to the universe.

KILLADEV......

The Chronicles of Killadev

As I sit here in my drunken stupor and attempt to get a handle on this vodka induced hang over, I grapple with a question that has plagued me for it seems as long as I have been a sentient, rational being and that is.......' what the eff ?'..... Now this question covers an extremely wide area and has led me to humbly attempt to reach some sort of conclusion, or just get a better understanding of it. However to efficiently do this, I am of the belief that different approaches and applications to the aforementioned question; of the different topics, are needed to adequately attempt the impossible. However, to attempt to do this in one crimson blase of glory I believe, would be too long, so having total creative control as I was assured by the chief bloggist himself, I will do this in a piecemeal fashion. Thus, creating within my series another series of topics to be discussed lol, so in a way a series within a series or if you will, a nested series. I think I'll go with nested series.

Anyway, to dispense with pleasantries and jump right into the proverbial ocean, the first of the nested series I think I should tackle is romantic relationships. This came to me in a flash of genius as I indulged in some home-made dances and was forced to observe some dudes semi-drunken attempts at what trinis call 'tracking' in this club I frequent. Hence I have decided that this would be a perfect time to asses and analyze irelationships using the above question as a guide.

Now, this is not to knock or disrespect anyone who believes and can say with the highest confidence they are in a real relationship and by real I mean; something that makes sense and involves two willing parties. I think it is a beautiful thing and when done correctly could see two people being made better by it. This is for everyone else......

So I again ask WTF is the point... these highly famed and semi-voluntary situations seem to be a seamless cycle of pointlessness. To illustrate my point lets take a glimpse into what I have been exposed to through personal experience, as well as what I would like to call observation and study. It seems that these monogamous situations are all a copy of each other. One bounces from empty relationship to empty relationship not really sure what their goal is, each leaving the person a little more jaded than the previous, until they are so emotionally scarred and warped that they settle for less than they would have about two or three relationships before. That is then passed by some, sadly the majority, as growth or maturity. Nothing is wrong with experiencing growth on any level but ensuring that this growth is sincerely growth and not just acceptance is sometimes very difficult. Now I am of the firm belief that; to enter into anything not knowing what you want as a result of your commitment, is not the most mature thing to do. So from the get go there is a contradiction to the very maturity that is somehow always invoked when dealing with these relationships.

So as this cycle continues one, be it boy or girl, hopes and begs that their relationship partner does something, or anything innocuously different form their other failed used-to-be suitors, to cause the brain to send electric charges to some gland that will in turn give off some chemical message that will result in that cliché feeling that is often referred to as love. Is this the point of relationships then, love? If that is the case then someone should only enter a relationship when they want to be in love or fall in love or whatever nice movie term you want to apply there? But in that lies a potential problem, in knowing this wouldn’t one sometimes force the situation which would end in one not truly attaining love but instead some weird aberration? Also, when one realises they are in a relationship where love could never develop should they do the responsible thing and end it or just enjoy it for everything it is and what it is not, and let it runs its natural course?

It seems somehow I have come up with even more questions and failed to answer the initial one. GO figure..... lol

P.S. VODKA is not to be drunk by humans; this disinfectant should only be used to clean tiles or something of the sort....

Killadev.....

The Chronicles of Killadev

Upon being approached to write a 'diary' by the editor in chief, if that's what you call it or the chief blogger I suppose, I was like... 'diary'????'. This led me to revert to some Jamaican patois as I thought "badman doh keep diary, ah gyal thing dat", however I agreed to chronicle and somehow string together the random thoughts that manifest themselves in the deep recesses of my mind. I mean, if Riddick could have a chronicle why the hell not me. So I guest dis is the initial chronicle of the chronicles...

So while working on perfecting my human form in the gym today, I was stunned speechless when I heard the wailing of Beyonce over the radio singing some junk about 'if yuh something you should've put a ring on it', or something of that sort, I was like WTF!!!! This is not the first time I heard the rant, however, this was the first time I put some thought into it, you'll be amazed at how many moments of clarity you have when struggling under heavy weights, anyway, I came to the astonishing realization that.....Beyonce is a terrorist. And this is not the regular suicide bomb sort of terrorism, this is and all new form of terrorism: Emotional Terrorism.

The reason i say this is because, she is making a call to young ladies to coerce their partners into some forced pseudo-union or they would go and find someone that could, as she so aptly stated it 'put a ring on it'',(by this I mean enter into a meaningful committed relationship) . Now threatening to use someone's emotions against them in such a vindictive even cruel manner has to be some sort of terrorism. So as I sat there shocked and awed by this outrageous call to emotional arms I thought, she is really screwing it up for the girls out there. At first, I thought she was attempting to eff it up for guys as she usually does with that other ridiculous, almost blasphemous rhetoric ' To the left, to the left,'. The reason I say this is not threatening guys is because some poor girl is going to take this madness seriously and attempt to do what she says and end up extremely lonely, because forcefully coercing someone into a situation is never going to end up a permanent and/or healthy situation; this is going on the assumption that the girl is looking for this sort of attachment.

There are many reasons I could site from personal experience that a man would not be ready to do as what was stated earlier 'put a ring on it', for example, commitment issues, lack of trust for women( my personal favorite), and just honestly not being ready to settle down. However some women take these real reasons to mean "he just wanna go and slay a whole heap of bad things and not be with me alone." The reason that last statement is in quotation marks is because those were actual words that came from a girl's mouth I was engaged in a debate with about said topic. That in fact is not the reason. Sometimes people need time to work through their issues instead of jumping half heartedly into a shifty empty shell of what is propagated as human monogamy.

Girls might think I am being biased but I ask what would you rather do; force someone you care about into a relationship they are not ready for (for whatever reason) which I believe would end tragically in one of the parties being less than faithful, OR as I would suggest, waiting and letting the dude have a self realisation that goes something like this, I have to regress to straight trini slang for this, "Wayssss I rel like this ting boy, hmmm I might deal she yes" which would result in him of his own will, being of sound mind entering into the spirit killing social contract that is abstract monogamy. LOL, that little part about monogamy was a joke but you know what I mean.

The point is this, don't hold anyone at emotional gun point because, I suppose you might get what you initially want but not what you ultimately want.........

P.S. I hope no girl was offended by the use of the word 'ting' but lets be real 90% of the men in Trinidad use that word to describe girls, its not derogatory in any way that's just trini talk, so I mean no need to tote.....

Killadev....