Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The Chronicles of Killadev

Upon being approached to write a 'diary' by the editor in chief, if that's what you call it or the chief blogger I suppose, I was like... 'diary'????'. This led me to revert to some Jamaican patois as I thought "badman doh keep diary, ah gyal thing dat", however I agreed to chronicle and somehow string together the random thoughts that manifest themselves in the deep recesses of my mind. I mean, if Riddick could have a chronicle why the hell not me. So I guest dis is the initial chronicle of the chronicles...

So while working on perfecting my human form in the gym today, I was stunned speechless when I heard the wailing of Beyonce over the radio singing some junk about 'if yuh something you should've put a ring on it', or something of that sort, I was like WTF!!!! This is not the first time I heard the rant, however, this was the first time I put some thought into it, you'll be amazed at how many moments of clarity you have when struggling under heavy weights, anyway, I came to the astonishing realization that.....Beyonce is a terrorist. And this is not the regular suicide bomb sort of terrorism, this is and all new form of terrorism: Emotional Terrorism.

The reason i say this is because, she is making a call to young ladies to coerce their partners into some forced pseudo-union or they would go and find someone that could, as she so aptly stated it 'put a ring on it'',(by this I mean enter into a meaningful committed relationship) . Now threatening to use someone's emotions against them in such a vindictive even cruel manner has to be some sort of terrorism. So as I sat there shocked and awed by this outrageous call to emotional arms I thought, she is really screwing it up for the girls out there. At first, I thought she was attempting to eff it up for guys as she usually does with that other ridiculous, almost blasphemous rhetoric ' To the left, to the left,'. The reason I say this is not threatening guys is because some poor girl is going to take this madness seriously and attempt to do what she says and end up extremely lonely, because forcefully coercing someone into a situation is never going to end up a permanent and/or healthy situation; this is going on the assumption that the girl is looking for this sort of attachment.

There are many reasons I could site from personal experience that a man would not be ready to do as what was stated earlier 'put a ring on it', for example, commitment issues, lack of trust for women( my personal favorite), and just honestly not being ready to settle down. However some women take these real reasons to mean "he just wanna go and slay a whole heap of bad things and not be with me alone." The reason that last statement is in quotation marks is because those were actual words that came from a girl's mouth I was engaged in a debate with about said topic. That in fact is not the reason. Sometimes people need time to work through their issues instead of jumping half heartedly into a shifty empty shell of what is propagated as human monogamy.

Girls might think I am being biased but I ask what would you rather do; force someone you care about into a relationship they are not ready for (for whatever reason) which I believe would end tragically in one of the parties being less than faithful, OR as I would suggest, waiting and letting the dude have a self realisation that goes something like this, I have to regress to straight trini slang for this, "Wayssss I rel like this ting boy, hmmm I might deal she yes" which would result in him of his own will, being of sound mind entering into the spirit killing social contract that is abstract monogamy. LOL, that little part about monogamy was a joke but you know what I mean.

The point is this, don't hold anyone at emotional gun point because, I suppose you might get what you initially want but not what you ultimately want.........

P.S. I hope no girl was offended by the use of the word 'ting' but lets be real 90% of the men in Trinidad use that word to describe girls, its not derogatory in any way that's just trini talk, so I mean no need to tote.....

Killadev....

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

likin this new addition to the blog...lookin forward to more of these chronicles...but i HAVE to agree..i never though of emotional terrorism and u have a valid point...sadly though, i am certain that there are many women out there who stand side by side with the words of Beyonce and end up lonely mofos and have failed to realise Beyonce has a man and is simply in the business of making $$...oh well

soul_jahz_united said...

and if yuh really check de score from a material stand point, puttin a ring on a ting has never guaranteed loyalty, commitment, or tightness. daiz juss a ole nigger mentality of tangible wealth being used to assure intangible feelings and loyalty. beyoncé izah moron, and dah song doh even register as a genre of music, actually, it isnt really music overs

Anonymous said...

as a female, i must admit... i LOVE this post!!!

too often do girls get caught up in the bullshit...i doh want a ring, i want your WORD!..your honesty, your trust and yuh heart, NONE of which begin with the word "Tiffany's"..

Perestroika said...

Well let me be the first to contradict you sir. Yes, I'm "THAT" bitch, pleased to meet you.

Lets play verbal semantics for the first part.... The word "should" is a verb expressing the conditional mood. Put "should" and "have" together and you get the conditional in the past tense. In other words, Beyonce's little ditty is taking place a long time after she has left the hypothetical man in question. They are no longer together. This also implies that her "terrorist" act includes simply removing herself from a situation with which she is uncomfortable. If this is terror, well then men terrorize women all the time.

"If" implies cause and effect. She is simply letting him know, that should his feelings be true, then she expects the social and historical convention of marriage. If his feelings aren't true, she will take his refusal to imply as such, and then move on. She ready to bounce, cuz she overs the scene.

Now, I am not one to condone diving into situations that people aren't prepared for, however, the song tells a story. We are put en medias res, somewhere in the middle when she tellin' him why she ride out. I am still trying to find out how with holding the pleasure of your own company from someone with whom you aren't on the same emotional plane is terror. I call it self preservation. In conclusion, I think that song is a pack of ass mihself, and I'm not really a Beyonce fan, but de woman eh doin nuttin wrong. She expressin what she want. It's not so crazy... just about as crazy as someone asking for my honey but wanting to dip into other flowers.

As far as why she would want to further any relationship with an indecisive man... I doh kno, but if she want a ring, yuh cyah give she wrong fuh dat.

Anonymous said...

In response to Perestroika... remaining in the "after the fact" as you mentioned, I think the said "emotional terrorism" lies in the implication that her future man would have to "put a ring on it" to prove his love for her. She even said "liked" which is worse.
The song's story is not fully told and we could look at it two ways... one way is that she left by her own will... but it can also mean that he left her! and she is finding comfort in having fun at the club... w/e dumb girls are brainwashed by her nonsense tho... I think they need to get a hold of themselves.

Anonymous said...

lol all valid points i like d different point of views and opinions -- my personal favorite is beyonce is a moron lol lol anyhoo look out for d second installment comin nxt weekish--- killadev

killadev said...

lol noow created my account killadev

Anonymous said...

I see that 'realism' surely is the order of the day!This realism stinks of bitterness...careful it morphs into something far worse! But I guess, we are our experiences so do ya thing. Nevertheless, well put Killadev